The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men view it especially in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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