The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These click this link chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay guys wish to learn from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry go right here is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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